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Question : Overcoming The Fear Of Failure

Answer :

Reframe Your Goals

  • First, reframe failure by shifting your goals. Expand your goal to include learning something new and you will never technically “fail” because there is always something to be learned.

Visualize Obstacles

  • A 2011 study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, asked two groups of college students to write about what lay in store for the coming week. One group was asked to imagine that the week would be great. The other group was just asked to write down any thoughts about the week that came to mind.
  • The students who were asked to imagine the week would be great reported feeling less energized and went on to accomplish less during the week than the control group.

Uncover Your Story

  • When we take failure very personally, we are always associating the failure with a bigger story about ourselves. We are taking the failure to mean “I am not good enough”, “I will never be successful”, etc.
  • When you feel very upset about a specific failure, ask yourself “Hmmm, what is the belief I have about this situation?” See if you can uncover the big, hairy exaggerated story you are telling yourself about this particular failure. Try to separate the story from the facts.

Ask Three Powerful Questions

The best response to perceived failure is to ask oneself these three powerful questions:

  1. What did I learn from this situation?
  2. How can I grow as a person from this experience?
  3. What are three positive things about this situation?

When you first attempt to list three positive things about the “failure”, your mind may be very resistant. But if you stick with the exercise, before you know it, you will see a new opportunity that can come out of this “failure.”

Surrender and Feel the Fear

  • Many of us allow fear to paralyze us because we don’t like feeling fear. But if you simply allow yourself to feel the fear when it shows up, you will notice that it quickly dissipates and suddenly the situation feels more manageable.
  • The next time you notice yourself getting stressed out or feeling afraid of something not working out, sit quietly by yourself, set your timer for two minutes and start taking deep breaths.